Nothing Is Worse Than Having Something Haunt You

I’m sitting here today, Saturday 1 Feb 2014, watching the American Idol auditions on my DVR and I wish American Idol had an older age category. The age limit for the show is 27, I believe. Well I am way past 27, but I’m starting to realize that, although not young, I’m not out.

I recorded two CD’s (2001 and 2007) and that’s where it ended because my mind was not in the right place as far as making it in the music industry. I was shooting in the wrong direction and that direction was the making big bucks, touring, making big bucks and making big bucks. I have since come to realize that I don’t want to make the big bucks, I just want to get paid to make music.

I put my guitar and keyboard down about two or three years ago thinking I didn’t have a chance to make a living with my music. I picked up the guitar last year and tried a bit but got discouraged. I actually discouraged myself. It wasn’t until I was watching Mob Wives on 23 January 2014 (yeah that Mob Wives on VH1) that I realized that giving up on music and calling it quits is not something I should do. How did Mob Wives make me realize that? Glad you asked.

There’s a character on the show (and yes she’s a character) named Drita D’avanzo who has ventured into the rap world. She has rapped with Lil Kim on stage and recently, has recorded with Method Man, who is one of Drita’s top five all time favorite rappers. Drita was at home trying to write lyrics for a track to which her and Method Man would be singing on. Drita’s oldest daughter comes in the room and Drita has her listen to the track. Down the line, Drita begins talking to her daughter about following your dreams and to never give up because it will always be “in the back of your head and I wish I did that’. Then Drita said the following (talking to the camera now) that has stuck with me and plays over and over in my mind, “You can’t just give up. Nothing is worse than having something haunt you and say why didn’t you do it.”  That whole line keeps repeating in my head, but its“something haunt you and say why didn’t you do it” that really sticks out.

As mentioned, I’m watching American Idol on DVR and this particular audition has a lot of people playing the guitar and singing. Most are singing someone else’s songs and some are singing their own creations. Hearing them play and sing just brings Drita’s quote to the front of my face with Paramount lights wrapped around it.

My dream is to have my music in movies and documentaries…mainly documentaries because I am a huge documentary fan.I just have to make that happen.

Thank you Drita for that quote which reminded me of what my real purpose on this earth is.

Cheers!